Monday, April 27, 2009

No mercy

I need to get something out in the open. It has to do with Jeremy. And the tractor. And the transformation that occurs when he steps onto said tractor.

Boy oh boy does he love that tractor (it has been named Bambi for reasons that are beyond me). I think it makes him feel very powerful and destructive, which I've learned are much sought after feelings among some guys (mostly those who spend much of their time in offices. No offense). All I'm saying is - when it's Saturday - and he's sitting on the tractor - I am always sure to keep a safe distance between myself and Bambi.

This weekend, I found the two of them along the back fence that was once completely entwined with whatever it is that grows back there. Whatever it is, has now died. Bambi killed it.

I am not complaining, mind you. The majority of what has been accomplished would have been impossible without the tractor. And it's always nice when one can both fulfill a childhood dream (Jeremy's dream, apparently, of owning a tractor) and also efficiently clear land twice as quickly. It's a two-birds-one-stone sort of situation.

What concerns me is when one of the tiny cows wants to meet Bambi while she is working.

You see, Jeremy's tractor obsession makes it difficult for him to care whether or not the tiny cow is involved in a head-on collision with Bambi. When he's sitting up there he is unable to differentiate between animal and brush. Seamus's horns probably make him appear as a gigantic cactus, and cactus must die.

"Seamus move!" I am shouting this whilst also photographing his curiosity.

"Seamus! Save yourself! Eat later!" Please keep in mind that the tractor is moving at approximately 2 miles per hour. Please also keep in mind that cows are dumber than tractors, and Jeremy has no control of himself any longer.

I realize these pictures failed to capture the urgency of the situation. But it was intense. Luckily, I managed to lean against the tiny cow long enough after this photo was taken that he ambled off into the woods to forage for more delicious dead grass. No animals harmed. One more portion of the land cleared. Jeremy = happy. Thank you, Bambi.

It wasn't easy, but I was able to salvage one cactus that had sprouted pretty flowers. Just the one, though.

1 comment:

Jesse said...

save me some cactus pears please.