Not Entirely Zen

I don't exactly know what this word means beyond having actually read the definition. So from that perspective then, I do know what it means. But I've never experienced "zen" for myself. If you know me then you won't question the veracity of the statement. I'm just not, well, "zen." However, ahem, I now have a few tricks up my sleeve to divert my attention away from the nagging thoughts that nag me. Particularly when it comes to the house situation. Allowing myself to truly think about the situation is a slippery slope. It can lead to all sorts of nastiness that's not worth mentioning here but typically results in tears and overeating. See? Not zen.

A few things have been working to help divert my attention from these nagging thoughts. The new, scatter-shot approach we've now taken towards the Great Home Financing Search 2010-20? (basically we just complete every bank loan app we can get our hands on without regard to the bank's terms and conditions because hey, at this point, who cares?!) is somehow comforting. To me, this brilliant approach says "Jenna. You are in control of this situation." It's similar to throwing spaghetti on the wall to see if it sticks. If it sticks, it's done. If we get enough apps out there, one of 'em will take. There's logic in there somewhere, I just know it!

But a few images also help calm the nerves and the nagging. First there's this:

Picnic lunch at the land while the animals graze. It works almost every time. But when it fails, then I rely on these new, and fool proof images:


Amidst a pile of baby goats, or the memory of said pile, is the closest to zen I may ever be.