Saturday, August 13, 2011


Ok, where to start. My head is still reeling from my Saturday evening in the country. I guess I should just start from the beginning (I apologize for the lengthy post). This weekend was "Water Line Weekend." On Friday afternoon, I cut out of work early to meet the plumbing supply delivery driver that was dropping off my 2200' of 2" PVC. Shortly thereafter the rock saw delivery driver was supposed to arrive. Both were supposed to call before they headed out to make sure I was around to let them in. However, as Jenna explained in a previous post the "Yes, we'll call when we're headed your way" actually means "ha ha ha, you're silly, we're just going to show up and surprise you." Both delivery guys showed up unannounced, but to their credit the equipment delivery folks called after the fact to say the delivery may have already happened. Ok, whatever, that is just a minor point in this unusual weekend. So, my Fasha came over bright and early Saturday morning (like 7:15am, bright and early) to start trenching with the rock saw (see pic below)...he even brought his own umbrella. Once you get over the silly look, it actually worked pretty well.

Ok, so we're (read: Fasha is) trenching away and making good progress when our fearless neighbor and friend, Dewayne, shows up for his weekend "hello". So, we do the country thing and stop what w're doing to chat for about 30 minutes. Somewhere during the typical conversation covering the hot weather and the drought, Dewayne mentions that he is meeting Keith (another country "neighbor") this evening with his new friend (meet Bob) to film a hog hunt across the street, and he wanted to know if I wanted to join them. I almost choked on my sip of tea with a gurgled "hell yes!" Allegedly, this mysterious "Bob" (Dewayne didn't know his last name) has a cable show called "Hogs Gone Wild". While Google did indicate that a Hogs Gone Wild show does actually exist on the Discovery Channel, I couldn't tell that Bob was actually involved. Either way, we were going to meet up with Keith and Bob to film a hog hunt. Can it get any better? So, I head over to Dewayne's and meet up with him and his son, Colby. We hop in his truck and literally cross the street into the 100 acre land that Dewayne's buddy owns. We drive in a few minutes until we arrive at the tank. Here we pull off to the side and crack a few cold beers while we wait for Keith and Bob. After a beer or two, Keith and Bob show up...along with Davina and their son Jesse. Now that we have a nice little audience, it's time to attract the hogs.

Dewayne grabs the two buckets of some magical mixture of deer corn, water, and raspberry Jello (no lie). Apparently, this flavor is irresistible to the hogs...go figure. Meanwhile, Bob pulls out his AK-47-like assault rifle which is fitted with a night vision scope that also records video.

At this point, all the guys start drooling uncontrollably. So, we hunker down (that's right...hunker down) in and around Dewayne's truck. Right about now, the sun is starting to set, so it's time to get serious...and quiet. Apparently, this is no easy task for 12 year old Jesse...and his 50 year old father Keith. There's enough noise between Jesse shifting around in the bed of the truck and Keith trying to "whisper" the latest joke he heard in everyone's ear, to scare off a herd of elephants. Dewayne periodically looks at me, smiles and shakes his head, whispering we'll have to come out some other evening without the cavalry. I'm having a good time with or without any hogs, so I could care less.

However, in the end we're able to get the entire crew quiet enough for long enough that Bob holds up a hand and whispers that "hogs are coming!" With his infrared, nigh vision scope/video camera he spots a couple of hogs coming down the hill towards the corn (and us). Luckily, the moon was almost full tonight and poked out behind some clouds right about this time, so I could just make out some black shapes moving in the distance. Bob whispers that he's about to shoot, so we get ready. In rapid fire, he pulls off three rounds. Right about that time, I think I see a black shape about 50 yards away start running in our direction. For those of you that don't know anything about feral hogs, apparently they can be quite aggressive. Right as my brain is recognizing this dark shape that is moving in our direction, Colby yells out "he's coming our way!" Immediately, everyone is diving into the bed of Dewayne's truck. I wish I could have seen this from the pigs perspective, because that must have looked pretty ridiculous. Sure enough, this enormous pig comes up over a ridge and is headed straight for us. It veers off when it gets about 10 yards away and Bob finishes it off. I try to act cool with a casual "well, that was exciting." Meanwhile, my heart is banging against my chest and I'm checking to make sure I didn't wet myself. With surprisingly dry pants, I join in the toast to Bob for his finishing shot. Everyone grabs a fresh beer and heads out with flashlights to find the other 2 pigs he shot at. I walk over to look at the monster that scared 6 adults into a single truck bed, and it was pretty impressive. I would guess around 250 to 300 lbs. Then I hop in the bed of Dewayne's truck as we head to pick up the other hogs that didn't run at us. I had a moment as we're bouncing down the bumpy dirt path. I could totally get used to this lifestyle. Good people, simple living, and soon some very natural, unprocessed meat in the freezer. After we round up the animals, I "help" Davina and Bob process the pigs (by "help" I mean I held the flashlight and any large pieces of meat they handed to me as they worked). Now, I have a piece of back strap and a ham in the freezer just waiting for me to fire up my smoker. Overall, a good Saturday night. Thanks Bob.

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