Sunday, August 29, 2010

Eating Cake

I recognize there's a been a period of silence here over the past week-ish for our devoted
reader(s?). It's got nothing to do with any of The Messiness I mentioned earlier just more to do with non-land-life-stuff that can be somewhat distracting/exhausting. (Now please find a partner to read the following dialogue)

You: (gasp) "There is MORE to your life than the land?!"

Me: (hands on hips) "YES!"

You: "Lying is inappropriate and just bad in general."

Me: (hands on hips) "WHAT IS YOUR POINT?"

You: "Liar."

Me: (hangs head) "Damn."

So. Ok. You got me. I'm fairly one-dimensional when it comes to life. Or should I say, singularly focused? Everything I do seems connected to that slice of property. But lately I find myself wound up in things like work, architectural salvage ideas, meals, and work. Work is connected because it pays for the land and architectural salvage ideas are relevant because I hope to expand this someday into something that will actually be the work (more on that later). Oh - and meals are important because they provide strength for the entire endeavor of life. So there it is. I've been so focused on finding alternate funding methods for the land that I haven't actually been thinking about the land. That's what's been spinning around more recently than ever and more recently than ever I'm so very bothered by that pesky work requirement that keeps me ever farther from what it is I want to do.

But what is it I want to do?

If I'm being honest, I want to stare at this view. All the time. Dusk at the land, Jeremy in his element, the cows quietly looking on.

Donkey curiosity.

Sunset.

Not lucrative goals in life but easily achieved. The focus now, aside from building that damn house, is to figure out how to make a living off that damn land. Spend more time there for a living, not a hobby. Not just a place to come home to, but the place that eventually sustains us.

But. How.

I have some ideas cooking. But. How? We've had approximately 3,291 conversations about this subject that all end with..HOW? And the thought, the notion, the idea, the belief in conventional work schedules and conventional jobs has just begun to depress the hell out of me. BUT HOW to move into something else while still depending on two full incomes? Does my new obsession with finding a way out of conventional work smack of having some cake and eating it too? Well then, I apologize for asking so much. But I don't really care.

(By the way, if you have a response to any of the "how" questions, it'd be really swell if you'd share them. And thanks).

Eh - don't shed a tear for me just yet. We'll figure it out one way or probably some other way, and in the meantime, things are fine. But between The Messiness, the monumental lack of progress with that damn house, and general fidgety-ness; my brain is racing with too many ideas. So instead of choosing between them, I choose to focus on the really important things in life. I choose to watch the Emmy's. Hoping for a Best Comedy win for Glee is essential stuff.

2 comments:

ruralaspirations said...

It's pretty scary to consider jumping off the conventional work bus and doing something just because you are passionate about it. It most definitely can be done and the Web is full of examples. Getting one's finances in order is the first step, meaning get rid of debt and cut the budget to bare bones. Then of course figuring out how much you need to live on (usually a lot less than most people think) and how you'll make that income. I strongly believe in creating The Dream and then a Plan to get there. We did it, and here we are (though I confess we're not living off our land yet; hubby still has his day job but at least it's mostly from home). Hang in there, the Universe will show you the way (and no I'm not one of those Secret people!). :-)

jennakl said...

Thank you for sharing this! Especially since we're wanting to build a house, the time just isn't right to jump off the conventional work bus...and so much of what I want to do depends on us living out there and using the land for income. Someday! In the meantime I just need to keep hearing stories like yours and know that it is possible with the right planning!