reader(s?). It's got nothing to do with any of The Messiness I mentioned earlier just more to do with non-land-life-stuff that can be somewhat distracting/exhausting. (Now please find a partner to read the following dialogue)
You: (gasp) "There is MORE to your life than the land?!"
Me: (hands on hips) "YES!"
You: "Lying is inappropriate and just bad in general."
Me: (hands on hips) "WHAT IS YOUR POINT?"
Me: (hangs head) "Damn."
So. Ok. You got me. I'm fairly one-dimensional when it comes to life. Or should I say, singularly focused? Everything I do seems connected to that slice of property. But lately I find myself wound up in things like work, architectural salvage ideas, meals, and work. Work is connected because it pays for the land and architectural salvage ideas are relevant because I hope to expand this someday into something that will actually be the work (more on that later). Oh - and meals are important because they provide strength for the entire endeavor of life. So there it is. I've been so focused on finding alternate funding methods for the land that I haven't actually been thinking about the land. That's what's been spinning around more recently than ever and more recently than ever I'm so very bothered by that pesky work requirement that keeps me ever farther from what it is I want to do.
But what is it I want to do?
If I'm being honest, I want to stare at this view. All the time. Dusk at the land, Jeremy in his element, the cows quietly looking on.
Not lucrative goals in life but easily achieved. The focus now, aside from building that damn house, is to figure out how to make a living off that damn land. Spend more time there for a living, not a hobby. Not just a place to come home to, but the place that eventually sustains us.
I have some ideas cooking. But. How? We've had approximately 3,291 conversations about this subject that all end with..HOW? And the thought, the notion, the idea, the belief in conventional work schedules and conventional jobs has just begun to depress the hell out of me. BUT HOW to move into something else while still depending on two full incomes? Does my new obsession with finding a way out of conventional work smack of having some cake and eating it too? Well then, I apologize for asking so much. But I don't really care.
(By the way, if you have a response to any of the "how" questions, it'd be really swell if you'd share them. And thanks).
Eh - don't shed a tear for me just yet. We'll figure it out one way or probably some other way, and in the meantime, things are fine. But between The Messiness, the monumental lack of progress with that damn house, and general fidgety-ness; my brain is racing with too many ideas. So instead of choosing between them, I choose to focus on the really important things in life. I choose to watch the Emmy's. Hoping for a Best Comedy win for Glee is essential stuff.