|The bucklings enjoy the round bale bed.|
Walking along with the goats - I don't take this stuff for granted - not the luxury of the free time or the solitude we still have in these last few weeks (days? hours?) before the kids are born. The girls are distended and uncomfortable, although still able to jump creeks like gazelles, those bellies swinging heavily below them. It makes me wince to watch. I'm losing sleep about what's coming but, well, it's coming and there's no stopping it now. There are empty pages here for those stories.
Vacation highlights all of our contradictions. In just one week I stocked up on alfalfa, shopped in downtown Austin at such intensely "cool" stores that only my sister would know about them, trimmed hooves, hosted a wine and cheese for those women in my life who have been my sisters since the pre-pre-teen years, milked a cow, and spent the last few minutes of 2012 under a disco ball and strobe light dancing to Milkshake in a friend's backyard. Such a strange, strange assortment of pieces to this life. 2012, you started with a sucker punch, but you ended with a "I don't give a sh*t who's watching" dance under glowing, spinning lights (I win). This year beat us down: a potential lawsuit, a new broken house, flooding. And this year propped us up: a herd of baby goats, a long front porch, a million dollar view - a lot of empty pages.
It's an introspective time. A time to bag up the self-loathing and make shiny resolution lists that serve as a beacon through these dreary months of winter. I've thought a lot about my own list, added all the usual suspects like eat better, exercise more, worry less. Blad-y blah. Then I scratched it all out 'til only two lines remained. Just two, maybe they're all we need?
And the Oscar Wilde quote I found on the Fabulous Beekman Boys site where the boys did some of their own end-of-year soul searching: "If you are not too long, I'll wait for you all my life."
Think about it. Cheers to you and whatever's worth waiting for. Happy New Year!