It's not Me, It's You

If you happen to be reading and you happen to be a member of the building/design/construction/real estate community and you happen to have a sensitive spot, then cover your eyes, or just go ahead and read another story. Bye! See you here later.

(For the record, this is off the record.)

So here we are in month 15.62 of the House Build. We are 1 (2, 3, 4, ?) contractors + 2 designers + 2 foundation engineers down and the only place it's gotten us is up sh$t creek. We've received a preliminary bid of the new (purportedly "cheaper") foundation plan, only to find that it saves a whopping nothing and still comprises almost 1/2 of the budget. This means that the original floor plan (which has been worked on by 2 - count 'em! 2!) designers may be scrapped. Of course by "scrapped" I mean lovingly rolled up and dipped in bronze, encased in glass, and placed on the mantel since they cost too damn much to scrap.

It's an ambiguous science, this. The timing has to be correct in terms of personal finances and their alignment with interest rates. The relationship between our greed and our reality must be rock solid. Along with the relationship between our reality and the builder's reality; understanding what we want, what we can do ourselves, the definition of a "budget." In the end we're like freaking Goldilocks. We need to find something that's juuuuust right.

Oh no! I'm not complaining mind you! No, no, no sir. Things are splendid with the trailer, the lingering promise that someday it'll work out, the stars will align and the urge to jump ship will subside. But 'til it passes, I am done. Kaput. I can't even get excited about paint chips these days. Or old hinges. I've lost my will, my nerve. Jeremy's too busy to steer and more at ease with the back-and-forth of this life; city weeks vs. country weekends. But all this stagnant, non-movement leaves me nauseous.

Not to play the blame game, but lately I've wondered where we went wrong as two wide-eyed newbies navigating the world of construction. Of course by "wondered" I do mean that I've devoted extraordinary amounts of time, list-making, chart-making, poll-taking to this endeavor. And I've finally come up with the completely justifiable and absolutely academic conclusion that WE do not have the problem here! We did it all right! From day one, even!! I mean, what are the odds that two novices would make all of the right decisions from the very beginning?! Shocking, I know. So, it's not our problem. Therefore, someone else has to fix it. You know how to contact me if you figure it out.