Meet Petey

It's alive! I would like you to meet the newest member of our family, Petey. I feel the need to defend my over-watering actions that Jenna mocked in a previous post. Apparently, I am more in tune with the needs of nature than either Jenna or I anticipated. Either that or lettuce is more resistent to flooding. Regardless, our 2009 garden has officially started. Hayoh!

Your Weekly Boo (and Lu)

Sadly, it was a brief weekend out at the land. I have little to report except that a suitable halter was located for Boo, which he was less than happy to wear. He expressed his annoyance through a loud snort, a sideways kick and a brief gallop into a tree. Poor Boo.

It appears he has been busy sprouting a real donkey mane. Although this is good news for Boo, I am sad to see that he won't remain a baby donkey forever.

This is my dog LuLu. She requires no explanation.

Rotten Winter Seedlings

My mother has, by all accounts, a bright green thumb. Granted, she's been able to devote some significant time over the years to weeding and composting and mulching and even (gasp) watering her garden - all steps that she claims are "necessary" to make things grow, and grow well. While I feel that, on principle, most of those steps are overrated, I haven't yet been able to prove it. My many attempts at a glorious garden have generally ended with stunted, crooked, fruitless plants and lots of weeds. Lots. Of course, there was the one year of the Magnificent Jungle Garden - 2007. But I can't take any credit for it because non-stop rains did most of the work. In fact, the garden grew so huge, tangled and verdant that it attracted wild beasts such as the dreaded Woolly Bear who moved into one of my tomato plants, the sight of which caused me to temporarily swear off the outdoors in general for three full days. Google "woolly bear + poisonous" and you will understand, and then you will shudder. But this year is different. Jeremy's announced that he's taking over the summer garden duties in an attempt to actually, well, create vegetables. Since I'm feeling rather busy, I've chosen not to be offended and instead embrace his new interest in gardening. His only requirement was to start the process from seeds - seeds! What a novel (complicated) concept! We planted an interesting assortment of heirloom veggies the other night, and the process of stuffing seeds into tiny pots at the kitchen table took us both back to our 2nd grade science projects (the bean seed in the styrofoam cup - remember??). Once safely planted, the seeds were enthusiastically watered by Jer. Three days later, they are still brimming with water. Oops. I'm not holding my breath that these guys will sprout as they have likely already drowned in the abundant water. If you feel like starting your garden from seeds this year, and are able to resist overwatering, I highly recommend Seed Savers. You will find a much more interesting assortment of veggies while also preserving vegetables breeds from small farmers across the country. Win win.

Apologies for the terrible photo. The only seed packet of note is the, and I quote, "Lazy Housewife Bean." We have no idea what this is, but obviously couldn't resist.

This was at just the moment that I calmly asked Jeremy to "put the water can DOWN." It was futile.

I Do Not Like Them, Sam I Am

We got our first green egg today. I'm sure most of you understand just how exciting that is.

The View from Here

Today marked another episode in the mini-series entitled "Man vs. Himself vs. Nature vs. Machine" starring Jeremy the Engineer, set free from the confines of a cubicle to explore his true talents in a do-it-your-selfers paradise. The plot was probably exciting enough when The Hero was given a new chainsaw and 15 acres of assorted vegetation to destroy. Unfortunately, the puny chainsaw unfairly restricted the expansive goals of The Hero, and the producers decided that a larger, more powerful prop might create additional viewer interest. Enter: The Machine. This much more exciting prop finally provided The Hero with unlimited opportunities to conquer nature (The Villain). Previously simple procedures could now be executed in a more calculated, carefully engineered and incredibly drawn out manner. You see where I'm going with this?

The thing is, we want to live out in this tangle of brush and trees and weeds one day. But in order to do so, we need to figure out what the land actually looks like which requires good old fashioned clearing. This bears repeating, it's important. "Good old fashioned clearing." While I have always admired his ingenuity, the concept of simplicity does not mesh with the concept of machinery for Jeremy. You see - when the opportunity presents itself to overcome nature in the most complicated manner possible - you better believe he's going to pursue it. So began another exciting day of clearing. Jenna arrived eagerly at the edge of the woods with gloves and garden clippers, prepared to clear a path, albeit tiny, for Jer and his chainsaw. Jeremy showed up with: chainsaw (the list should stop here), tractor, 3 lengths of industrial strength chain with hooks attached, machete, 2 containers of gasoline, 1 container of diesel, and complicated looking instructions/blueprints which were explained as "Don't worry about it..." when asked what the heck they're for. The battle that ensued, though valiant, was futile. Hopefully we'll be doing things the old fashioned way, tomorrow.

The Villain:

The Hero attempts to conquer The Villain with The Machine:

The Hero fails to conquer The Villain with The Machine:

The dogs wait patiently for the nonsense to end:

And Rooney (I couldn't help myself):

Your Weekly Boo

In case you were wondering, Boo is progressing nicely.

Although he needs a teeth cleaning.

We think his mom, Chula, taught him these interesting upper lip maneuvers.

Boo just learned to eat sweet feed and is working on proper foot placement.

Coyote. Ugly.

I didn't make it through the week. Well I mean, I made it obviously. I'm here right now, but in order to get here and not lose certain amounts of sanity and happiness I broke down (twice) for a quick trip to the land during the week (twice). This probably isn't the best use of my free, after-work time. However, it made me sleep better at night to know that the animals were still alive and well without my constant presence. Although, let's face it, my constant presence has never inspired more than excitement that I might produce the odd carrot and when I do not, I receive a quick sniff and am generally ignored. Thursday night was a necessary trip because my Tuesday trip revealed a dangerously low supply of hay, which turned out not to be that low at all, but hey - I was looking for another excuse to go back before Saturday. I hung out with the animals while Jeremy drove down the road for a few round bales of hay (locating hay during a drought deserves it's own post. Yes. It's THAT interesting). As the sun sunk behind the trees, my cattle simultaneously stood at attention, eyes fixed on the woods, not 30 feet away. Due to their obviously limited intelligence, I just figured they were fascinated with...I don't know...whatever fascinates cows. Grass? I glanced at Chula, the "guard donkey" purchased specifically to stand at attention when a threat actually exists. She was munching happily on her sweet feed, completely ignoring the woods. At this point I had become pretty impressed with the focus of my cows. Again - they are cows. COWS. I'm certain they're not good for too much, but suddenly they appeared transformed into regal guard animals. One more glance at Chula confirmed that nothing was amiss which was enough to convince me (all my online research demonstrated that nothing guards better than a donkey) that all was well. At this precise moment and in the precise spot that my cattle were staring, I heard a loud rustle, followed by the blur of a dog-sized animal jumping forward. Holy. Crap. What the...? Is that a cat (too large)? Raccoon (too large)? Fox (too large!@$!!)?? No dear people, this was a coyote, the first I'd ever experienced, the very reason I'd gotten the donkeys in the first place, and only about 30 feet from my little group of livestock. As is normal in such a situation, I screamed. This had the desired effect, sending the thing shooting off down the road. I whipped around, excited to watch Chula in all her guard animal glory (I have no idea what that looks like), but was disappointed to see her still eating the oats, oblivious to the action behind her. The sound of hooves made me turn back to the road, which now was filled with three tiny galloping cows - chasing after the coyote. All the research that went into locating the perfect guard animal to protect my diminutive, delicate cattle - pointless. Sheesh. Thanks for nothing Chula. As for the coyote, it won't come back. I'm pretty sure nothing is as frightening as a chase by three trotting cows and one screaming woman in high heels.